What Happens at a Wedding Ceremony? A Celebrant Explains

If you’ve never been to the front of a wedding ceremony as the person getting married, it can be surprisingly hard to picture what actually happens.

Who walks in first? When do you say your vows? When do you exchange rings? What does the celebrant actually say? And which parts do you have to include for the marriage to be legal?

The good news is that there is a legal framework, but there isn’t a single script that every couple has to follow. Once you understand the few things that are required, there’s actually a lot of freedom to create the rest of the ceremony around you.

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Before anything formal happens, your guests arrive, find their seats and settle in. There might be music playing, your celebrant may be greeting people, and everyone involved in the ceremony gets themselves into position.

Then comes the processional — the part most people picture when they think about a wedding ceremony.

One of you might walk down the aisle. You might each walk in separately. You might walk in together. Children, parents, friends or even the family dog might be involved. Or you might skip the traditional entrance altogether.

There is no legal requirement about who walks in first or how you enter.

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Once everyone is settled, the celebrant will welcome your guests and acknowledge the reason everyone has gathered.

This can be simple and understated, or it can set a more personal tone for what’s to come. Your celebrant might acknowledge your families, thank everyone for being there or briefly explain what the ceremony will involve.

There’s no need for this part to become a formal speech. It is really about bringing everyone’s attention into the moment and beginning the ceremony.

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This is often where a celebrant-led ceremony starts to feel distinctly yours.

Your celebrant may talk about how you met, your first impressions of each other, the things you’ve shared, your family, the life you’ve built together or some of the funny little details that make your relationship yours.

It doesn’t need to be a chronological history of your entire relationship. In fact, it usually works better when it isn’t. A good ceremony story should give your guests a sense of who you are together without turning the ceremony into a biography.

This is also one of the biggest differences between a ceremony that feels personal and one that feels like it could belong to anyone.

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This is where you can start adding the things that matter to you.

You might include:

• a favourite reading or poem
• a song or piece of live music
• a cultural or religious tradition
• a symbolic ritual
• a friend or family member sharing something
• a moment to acknowledge children or other important people
• a moment of remembrance for someone who isn’t there

Or you might include none of these things. They are options, not requirements.

If you’re thinking about how to put all these pieces together, my guide to how to plan a wedding ceremony goes into the planning side in more detail.

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This is the part couples often want to understand most clearly — and it’s actually much simpler than you might expect.

Australian marriage law sets out certain requirements that need to be met for a marriage to be legally solemnised. For a civil ceremony conducted by a Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrant, these requirements sit alongside everything else you choose to include.

The celebrant’s legal statement

During a civil marriage ceremony, an authorised celebrant is required to make a statement about the legal nature of marriage. This is often referred to by celebrants as the monitum.

The statement explains that the celebrant is authorised to solemnise the marriage and sets out the legal definition of marriage under Australian law.

The required wording comes from the Marriage Act 1961. Your celebrant will make sure the required legal wording is included in your ceremony.

The legal vows

Each of you must also make the required legal declaration to the other in the presence of your celebrant and witnesses.

This is separate from the personal vows you may choose to write for one another. Your celebrant will explain the legal wording and guide you through what needs to happen.

Two witnesses

You need two witnesses to the marriage. They must be at least 18 years old and must be present when the marriage is solemnised.

They don’t have to be your best man and maid of honour. They can be family members, friends or other people you’ve chosen to share this part of the day with.

The paperwork

There is also paperwork that sits around the ceremony itself. You’ll need to complete a Notice of Intended Marriage with your celebrant, along with the other required documentation and evidence.

The NOIM generally needs to be given to your authorised celebrant at least one month before the marriage and no more than 18 months before it. There are limited circumstances in which the one-month period can be shortened.

Your celebrant should guide you through the paperwork and explain what is needed for your circumstances.

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Once the legal requirements are covered, this is where the ceremony can become particularly personal.

Your personal vows are the promises you choose to make to each other. They can be funny, emotional, simple, detailed, traditional or completely your own.

And you don’t have to write them from scratch if that feels daunting. Your celebrant can help you work out what you actually want to say and how to make your vows sound like you.

If you’re thinking about the wording and structure of your ceremony, you can also read my guide to writing a wedding ceremony script.

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Exchanging rings is one of the most familiar parts of a wedding ceremony, but it isn’t a legal requirement.

You can exchange rings, exchange something else, or simply not exchange anything at all.

If you do exchange rings, your celebrant can introduce the moment and help you decide whether you’d like to say something while you place the ring on each other’s finger.

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After the marriage has been solemnised, the required marriage documents are signed by you, your celebrant and your two witnesses.

This is often a fairly practical part of the ceremony, but it doesn’t have to feel like a sudden interruption. Your celebrant can explain what’s happening and make sure everyone knows what needs to be signed.

Your celebrant will then take care of the required lodgement of the marriage paperwork after the ceremony.

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Once the legal requirements have been completed, your celebrant will formally pronounce you married.

There might be a kiss. There might be a huge cheer. There might be laughter, tears or a very enthusiastic round of applause.

Then you’ll usually walk back down the aisle together — this time as a married couple.

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This is probably the most useful distinction to understand when you’re planning your ceremony.

There are legal requirements that your celebrant needs to make sure are met. Around those requirements, you have considerable freedom.

Things that need to happen

• The required marriage paperwork needs to be completed.
• You need to be legally eligible to marry.
• The marriage must be solemnised by an authorised celebrant or other authorised person.
• The required legal statement must be made.
• Each of you must make the required legal declaration.
• Two witnesses aged 18 or over must be present.
• The required marriage documents must be signed.

Things you can decide

• Who walks down the aisle and how.
• The music you use.
• Whether you include readings.
• Whether you include cultural, religious or personal traditions.
• Who participates in the ceremony.
• Whether you write personal vows.
• Whether you exchange rings.
• How much of your story you want included.
• How long the ceremony lasts.
• The overall tone and feel of the ceremony.

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There’s no legal requirement for a wedding ceremony to be a particular length.

A simple ceremony can be quite short, while a more personalised ceremony with stories, readings, rituals and other elements can take longer.

Rather than deciding that your ceremony has to be exactly 20 or 30 minutes, I’d suggest thinking about what you want to include and allowing the ceremony to take the time it needs.

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When you’re planning a wedding, it’s easy to assume there is a correct way to do everything.

There isn’t.

Australian marriage law gives your celebrant a framework to work within, but that framework leaves plenty of room for personality. The entrance, the stories, the music, the readings, the people involved, the vows, the rings and the little moments in between can all be shaped around you.

You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what your ceremony should look like. You just need to know a little about what matters to you, and your celebrant can help you turn that into something that feels natural on the day.

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Frequently asked questions

What is the order of a wedding ceremony?

There isn’t one compulsory order. A typical celebrant-led ceremony might include the processional, welcome, your story, readings or other personal elements, the legal wording, personal vows, ring exchange, signing of the marriage documents, pronouncement and recessional. Your celebrant can help you arrange these elements so the ceremony flows naturally.

What does a celebrant say at a wedding ceremony?

A celebrant may welcome your guests, introduce the ceremony, tell your story, guide the legal elements, introduce your vows and rings, explain the signing and formally pronounce you married. Some of the wording is legally required, while much of the ceremony is written specifically for each couple.

How many witnesses do you need at a wedding in Australia?

You need two witnesses who are at least 18 years old. They must be present when the marriage is solemnised and sign the required marriage documents.

Do you have to have a wedding reading?

No. Readings are entirely optional. You can include a poem, piece of literature, religious reading or something meaningful to you, but there is no legal requirement to have one.

Do you have to exchange wedding rings?

No. Ring exchange is a traditional and meaningful part of many ceremonies, but it isn’t a legal requirement.

Do you have to write your own wedding vows?

No. There are legal declarations that each person must make as part of the marriage ceremony. These are different from the personal vows many couples choose to write for each other. Your celebrant will explain the difference and make sure the legal requirements are met.

Can we make our wedding ceremony short?

Yes. There is no required length for a wedding ceremony. You can have a short, simple ceremony or spend more time telling your story and including the people and traditions that matter to you.

What paperwork do we need to get married?

You’ll need to complete the required marriage paperwork with your authorised celebrant, including the Notice of Intended Marriage. You’ll also need to provide the required evidence of identity, date and place of birth and, where relevant, evidence relating to a previous marriage. Your celebrant will guide you through what’s required for your circumstances.

Does our wedding ceremony have to be religious?

No. A civil marriage ceremony can be completely non-religious, or you can choose to include cultural, spiritual or religious elements that are meaningful to you. The important thing is understanding the difference between what the law requires and the elements you’ve chosen to include.