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Before you start thinking about the wording, it helps to understand the basic shape of a ceremony.

There are some traditional elements that couples often recognise, but they don’t all have to be included and they don’t necessarily have to happen in exactly the same order.

A typical ceremony might include:

• Guest welcome and introduction
• The couple’s entrance
• A welcome and acknowledgement of family and friends
• Your relationship story
• Readings, music or other special contributions
• The celebrant’s asking and your declaration of intention
• The legal wording required for an Australian marriage
• Personal vows or promises
• Ring exchange
• Signing the marriage documents
• Pronouncement and celebration
• Your exit or recessional

Think of this as a framework rather than a checklist. Some couples will use almost all of it. Others will strip it right back.

There is no prize for including every possible ceremony element. In fact, sometimes the most memorable ceremonies are the ones where the couple has carefully chosen what not to include.

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For a civil marriage conducted by an authorised celebrant who is not a minister of religion, there are specific legal requirements that must be met. Each person getting married must say the required words, or words to that effect, in the presence of the celebrant and the witnesses. At least two witnesses who are, or appear to the celebrant to be, 18 or older must be present. There are also required marriage documents and paperwork. Your celebrant will guide you through these requirements.

The legal wording is one part of the ceremony. Your personal vows, relationship story, readings, rituals, music and other ceremonial elements are separate from those legal requirements and can be shaped around you.

Before your wedding, you’ll also need to complete the required marriage paperwork, including the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM). Your celebrant will guide you through what is required and when. You can also learn more about the wedding ceremony process.

Because marriage law and paperwork requirements can change, always rely on your authorised celebrant and current Australian Government or NSW Government information for your specific circumstances.

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More than you might think.

Once the legal requirements are covered, there is a huge amount of flexibility in how your ceremony looks and feels.

Your entrance

You don’t have to follow the traditional walk down the aisle. You could enter separately, walk in together, come in with your children or walk in with someone special. You could even have both of you waiting at the ceremony space before your guests arrive. If you’re wondering about different ways to approach the entrance and where everyone stands, you can read more about who walks down the aisle and where everyone stands.

The story

Your celebrant can talk about how you met, your first date, the things you love about each other, the adventures you’ve had and the life you’re building together.

It doesn’t need to be a chronological biography. Often the best stories are the small ones that tell your guests something about who you are together.

Readings and music

You can include poems, readings, music where appropriate, cultural traditions, prayers or other meaningful words. You can also involve people who are important to you.

Rituals and traditions

Handfasting, candle lighting, cultural traditions, family blessings and other rituals can be beautiful additions when they genuinely mean something to you.

If the answer is yes, fantastic. If the answer is no, you don’t need to include something just because it is traditional or expected.

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If you’re wondering what an actual wedding ceremony script might look like, here’s a simple structure I often work from.

This is a ceremony structure rather than a complete word-for-word wedding ceremony script. It’s a starting point that shows how the different pieces of a wedding ceremony can fit together.

1. Welcome — Welcome everyone and set the tone.
2. Entrance — Bring the couple and wedding party into the ceremony.
3. Introduction — Explain why everyone has gathered.
4. Your story — Share some of the moments that brought you here.
5. Readings or contributions — Include anyone or anything you’d like to make part of the ceremony.
6. Asking — Confirm your intention to marry.
7. Legal wording — Complete the required legal components.
8. Personal vows — Make your promises to each other.
9. Rings — Exchange your rings and any accompanying words.
10. Signing — Complete the required marriage documents with your witnesses.
11. Pronouncement — Celebrate the fact that you’re married.
12. Exit — Walk back down the aisle and let the celebrations begin.

But even this structure can be changed. You might move a reading, bring your vows earlier or include a family ritual before the rings. Your celebrant will make sure any legal steps, including the signing of the marriage documents, happen correctly.

The important thing is that the structure makes sense for you and feels natural on the day.

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There isn’t a magic number.

A short ceremony can be incredibly meaningful, and a longer ceremony can work beautifully when there is enough substance to keep your guests engaged.

Rather than deciding that your ceremony needs to be exactly a certain number of minutes, think about what you actually want to include. For more detail, you can read about how long a wedding ceremony takes.

• Do you want your celebrant to tell your story?
• Are you including readings?
• Are family or friends contributing?
• Are you writing personal vows?
• Are there cultural or family traditions you want to include?
• Do you want space for a little humour and storytelling?

Those decisions will naturally shape the length.

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This is probably the question I care about most.

A personalised ceremony isn’t necessarily one filled with unusual rituals or elaborate ideas. Sometimes personalisation is much simpler.

It’s using your language. Telling the stories you actually laugh about. Mentioning the people who have shaped your relationship. Including the things that matter to you and leaving out the things that don’t.

If you’re naturally funny, your ceremony can have humour. If you’re private, it doesn’t need to reveal every detail of your relationship. If family is hugely important to you, there are lots of ways to acknowledge them.

Think about these questions

• What do you love most about your everyday life together?
• What makes you laugh?
• What have you been through together?
• What do your closest friends know about you as a couple?
• Who has helped you get to this point?
• What do you want your guests to understand about you?
• What absolutely doesn’t belong in your ceremony?

Those answers will give your celebrant far more to work with than a list of wedding traditions ever will.

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When I sit down with a couple to create their ceremony, I’m not looking for a polished wedding speech from them.

I’m looking for the real stuff.

The stories that make you laugh. The things you noticed about each other early on. The little habits you now find endearing. The difficult moments you’ve worked through. The people who matter. The life you’re building.

I want to know what makes your relationship yours.

That’s why I don’t think couples should spend weeks staring at a blank document trying to write the perfect ceremony from scratch.

Give me the stories, the ideas, the things you want included and the things you definitely don’t. We can work out the words together.

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Your personal vows are one of the most meaningful parts of the ceremony, but they don’t have to be complicated.

You can write your own personal vows, use wording that has personal meaning to you, write them together, keep them private until the day or decide on another approach that feels right for you.

If you’re struggling with your vows, I’ve put together a separate guide to writing and personalising your wedding vows.

And remember: your personal vows don’t have to sound like someone else’s vows. They just need to sound like you.

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No — not necessarily.

There is a familiar flow because it works well and because many couples like the tradition of it. But your ceremony doesn’t have to be a copy of every wedding you’ve attended.

You can make decisions based on what feels comfortable for you, your venue, your family and your guests.

Your celebrant can also help you think about the practical side. For example, where people are standing, whether guests can hear, when music should start and stop, how the signing will work and how you’ll move from the ceremony into the next part of your wedding day.

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This is probably the most important thing I’d tell you.

Your wedding ceremony isn’t a performance. You don’t need to deliver every word perfectly, stand perfectly still, or make every moment look like a photograph.

You’re getting married.

There might be laughter. There might be happy tears. Someone might cough at exactly the wrong moment. You might forget a word. You might look at each other and completely lose track of what I just said.

That’s okay.

The job of the ceremony is not to be perfect. It’s to give you a meaningful moment to stop, look at each other and make the promises you’re choosing to make.

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What is included in a wedding ceremony script?

A wedding ceremony script can include the welcome, entrance, introduction, relationship story, readings or other contributions, declaration of intention, legal wording, personal vows, ring exchange, signing of the marriage documents, pronouncement and exit. Not every ceremony needs to include all of these elements.

How long should a wedding ceremony script be?

There is no set length. The ceremony should be long enough to include the elements that matter to you without adding content simply to make it longer.

What is the usual order of a wedding ceremony?

A common structure includes the entrance, welcome, relationship story, readings or contributions, asking, legal wording, vows, rings, signing of documents, pronouncement and exit. Your celebrant can adapt this order to suit you.

Can we change the order of our wedding ceremony?

In many cases, yes. Some legal requirements need to be handled correctly, but there is flexibility around many of the personal and ceremonial elements.

Who writes the wedding ceremony script?

There isn’t one rule about who writes a wedding ceremony script. Some couples write much of it themselves, while others work closely with their celebrant. My approach is to get to know you, gather your stories and ideas, and then shape those into a ceremony that feels personal, natural and true to you.

Can we write our own wedding ceremony?

Absolutely. You can be as involved as you like in the personal content and wording. Just remember that the legal requirements still need to be met, so it’s worth working with your authorised celebrant rather than trying to manage the legal wording alone.

Can we include readings, rituals and family members?

Yes. Readings, rituals, music and contributions from family and friends can all be included where they suit your ceremony and the legal requirements are still properly met.

What are the legal requirements for an Australian wedding ceremony?

For a civil marriage conducted by an authorised celebrant who is not a minister of religion, each person getting married must say the required words, or words to that effect, in the presence of the celebrant and at least two witnesses. The witnesses must be, or appear to the celebrant to be, 18 or older. There are also required marriage documents, including the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM). Your authorised celebrant will guide you through the legal requirements.